1*6ae1554aSColin Percival 2*6ae1554aSColin PercivalWarning: 3*6ae1554aSColin Percival The fortunes contained in the fortune database have been collected 4*6ae1554aSColin Percival haphazardly from a cacophony of sources, in number so huge it 5*6ae1554aSColin Percival boggles the mind. It is impossible to do any meaningful quality 6*6ae1554aSColin Percival control on attributions, or lack thereof, or exactness of the quote. 7*6ae1554aSColin Percival Since this database is not used for profit, and since entire works 8*6ae1554aSColin Percival are not published, it falls under fair use, as we understand it. 9*6ae1554aSColin Percival However, if any half-assed idiot decides to make a profit off of 10*6ae1554aSColin Percival this, they will need to double check it all, and nobody not involved 11*6ae1554aSColin Percival of such an effort makes any warranty that anything in the database 12*6ae1554aSColin Percival bears any relation to the real world of literature, law, or other 13*6ae1554aSColin Percival bizzarrity. 14*6ae1554aSColin Percival 15*6ae1554aSColin Percival==> GENERAL INFORMATION 16*6ae1554aSColin Percival By default, fortune retrieves its fortune files from the directory 17*6ae1554aSColin Percival/usr/share/games/fortune. A fortune file has two parts: the source file 18*6ae1554aSColin Percival(which contains the fortunes themselves) and the data file which describes 19*6ae1554aSColin Percivalthe fortunes. The data file always has the same name as the fortune file 20*6ae1554aSColin Percivalwith the string ".dat" concatenated, i.e. "fortunes" is the standard fortune 21*6ae1554aSColin Percivaldatabase, and "fortunes.dat" is the data file which describes it. See 22*6ae1554aSColin Percivalstrfile(8) for more information on creating the data files. 23*6ae1554aSColin Percival Fortunes are split into potentially offensive and not potentially 24*6ae1554aSColin Percivaloffensive parts. The offensive version of a file has the same name as the 25*6ae1554aSColin Percivalnon-offensive version with "-o" concatenated, i.e. "fortunes" is the standard 26*6ae1554aSColin Percivalfortune database, and "fortunes-o" is the standard offensive database. The 27*6ae1554aSColin Percivalfortune program automatically assumes that any file with a name ending in 28*6ae1554aSColin Percival"-o" is potentially offensive, and should therefore only be displayed if 29*6ae1554aSColin Percivalexplicitly requested, either with the -o option or by specifying a file name 30*6ae1554aSColin Percivalon the command line. 31*6ae1554aSColin Percival Potentially offensive fortune files should NEVER be maintained in 32*6ae1554aSColin Percivalclear text on the system. They are rotated (see caesar(6)) 13 positions. 33*6ae1554aSColin PercivalTo create a new, potentially offensive database, use caesar to rotate it, 34*6ae1554aSColin Percivaland then create its data file with the -x option to strfile(8). The fortune 35*6ae1554aSColin Percivalprogram automatically decrypts the text when it prints entries from such 36*6ae1554aSColin Percivaldatabases. 37*6ae1554aSColin Percival Anything which would not make it onto network prime time programming 38*6ae1554aSColin Percival(or which would only be broadcast if some discredited kind of guy said it) 39*6ae1554aSColin PercivalMUST be in the potentially offensive database. Fortunes containing any 40*6ae1554aSColin Percivalexplicit language (see George Carlin's recent updated list) MUST be in the 41*6ae1554aSColin Percivalpotentially offensive database. Political and religious opinions are often 42*6ae1554aSColin Percivalsequestered in the potentially offensive section as well. Anything which 43*6ae1554aSColin Percivalassumes as a world view blatantly racist, misogynist (sexist), or homophobic 44*6ae1554aSColin Percivalideas should not be in either, since they are not really funny unless *you* 45*6ae1554aSColin Percivalare racist, misogynist, or homophobic. 46*6ae1554aSColin Percival The point of this is that people should have a reasonable 47*6ae1554aSColin Percivalexpectation that, should they just run "fortune", they will not be offended. 48*6ae1554aSColin PercivalWe know that some people take offense at anything, but normal people do have 49*6ae1554aSColin Percivalopinions, too, and have a right not to have their sensibilities offended by 50*6ae1554aSColin Percivala program which is supposed to be entertaining. People who run "fortune 51*6ae1554aSColin Percival-o" or "fortune -a" are saying, in effect, that they are willing to have 52*6ae1554aSColin Percivaltheir sensibilities tweaked. However, they should not have their personal 53*6ae1554aSColin Percivalworth seriously (i.e., not in jest) assaulted. Jokes which depend for their 54*6ae1554aSColin Percivalhumor on racist, misogynist, or homophobic stereotypes *do* seriously 55*6ae1554aSColin Percivalassault individual personal worth, and in a general entertainment medium 56*6ae1554aSColin Percivalwe should be able to get by without it. 57*6ae1554aSColin Percival 58*6ae1554aSColin Percival==> FORMATTING 59*6ae1554aSColin Percival This file describes the format for fortunes in the database. This 60*6ae1554aSColin Percivalis done in detail to make it easier to keep track of things. Any rule given 61*6ae1554aSColin Percivalhere may be broken to make a better joke. 62*6ae1554aSColin Percival 63*6ae1554aSColin Percival[All examples are indented by one tab stop -- KCRCA] 64*6ae1554aSColin Percival 65*6ae1554aSColin PercivalNumbers should be given in parentheses, e.g., 66*6ae1554aSColin Percival 67*6ae1554aSColin Percival (1) Everything depends. 68*6ae1554aSColin Percival (2) Nothing is always. 69*6ae1554aSColin Percival (3) Everything is sometimes. 70*6ae1554aSColin Percival 71*6ae1554aSColin PercivalAttributions are two tab stops, followed by two hyphens, followed by a 72*6ae1554aSColin Percivalspace, followed by the attribution, and are *not* preceded by blank 73*6ae1554aSColin Percivallines. Book, journal, movie, and all other titles are in quotes, e.g., 74*6ae1554aSColin Percival 75*6ae1554aSColin Percival $100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at 76*6ae1554aSColin Percival which time it will be worth absolutely nothing. 77*6ae1554aSColin Percival -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love" 78*6ae1554aSColin Percival 79*6ae1554aSColin PercivalAttributions which do not fit on one (72 char) line should be continued 80*6ae1554aSColin Percivalon a line which lines up below the first text of the attribution, e.g., 81*6ae1554aSColin Percival 82*6ae1554aSColin Percival -- A very long attribution which might not fit on one 83*6ae1554aSColin Percival line, "Ken Arnold's Stupid Sayings" 84*6ae1554aSColin Percival 85*6ae1554aSColin PercivalSingle paragraph fortunes are in left justified (non-indented) paragraphs 86*6ae1554aSColin Percivalunless they fall into another category listed below (see example above). 87*6ae1554aSColin PercivalLonger fortunes should also be in left justified paragraphs, but if this 88*6ae1554aSColin Percivalmakes it too long, try indented paragraphs, with indentations of either one 89*6ae1554aSColin Percivaltab stop or 5 chars. Indentations of less than 5 are too hard to read. 90*6ae1554aSColin Percival 91*6ae1554aSColin PercivalLaws have the title left justified and capitalized, followed by a colon, 92*6ae1554aSColin Percivalwith all the text of the law itself indented one tab stop, initially 93*6ae1554aSColin Percivalcapitalized, e.g., 94*6ae1554aSColin Percival 95*6ae1554aSColin Percival A Law of Computer Programming: 96*6ae1554aSColin Percival Make it possible for programmers to write in English and 97*6ae1554aSColin Percival you will find the programmers cannot write in English. 98*6ae1554aSColin Percival 99*6ae1554aSColin PercivalLimericks are indented as follows, all lines capitalized: 100*6ae1554aSColin Percival 101*6ae1554aSColin Percival A computer, to print out a fact, 102*6ae1554aSColin Percival Will divide, multiply, and subtract. 103*6ae1554aSColin Percival But this output can be 104*6ae1554aSColin Percival No more than debris, 105*6ae1554aSColin Percival If the input was short of exact. 106*6ae1554aSColin Percival 107*6ae1554aSColin PercivalAccents precede the letter they are over, e.g., "`^He" for e with a grave 108*6ae1554aSColin Percivalaccent. Underlining is done on a word-by-word basis, with the underlines 109*6ae1554aSColin Percivalpreceding the word, e.g., "__^H^Hhi ____^H^H^H^Hthere". 110*6ae1554aSColin Percival 111*6ae1554aSColin PercivalNo fortune should run beyond 72 characters on a single line without good 112*6ae1554aSColin Percivaljustification (er, no pun intended). And no right margin justification, 113*6ae1554aSColin Percivaleither. Sorry. For BSD people, there is a program called "fmt" which can 114*6ae1554aSColin Percivalmake this kind of formatting easier. 115*6ae1554aSColin Percival 116*6ae1554aSColin PercivalDefinitions are given with the word or phrase left justified, followed by 117*6ae1554aSColin Percivalthe part of speech (if appropriate) and a colon. The definition starts 118*6ae1554aSColin Percivalindented by one tab stop, with subsequent lines left justified, e.g., 119*6ae1554aSColin Percival 120*6ae1554aSColin Percival Afternoon, n.: 121*6ae1554aSColin Percival That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted 122*6ae1554aSColin Percival the morning. 123*6ae1554aSColin Percival 124*6ae1554aSColin PercivalQuotes are sometimes put around statements which are funnier or make more 125*6ae1554aSColin Percivalsense if they are understood as being spoken, rather than written, 126*6ae1554aSColin Percivalcommunication, e.g., 127*6ae1554aSColin Percival 128*6ae1554aSColin Percival "All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that 129*6ae1554aSColin Percival keeps us sane." 130*6ae1554aSColin Percival 131*6ae1554aSColin PercivalEllipses are always surrounded by spaces, except when next to punctuation, 132*6ae1554aSColin Percivaland are three dots long. 133*6ae1554aSColin Percival 134*6ae1554aSColin Percival "... all the modern inconveniences ..." 135*6ae1554aSColin Percival -- Mark Twain 136*6ae1554aSColin Percival 137*6ae1554aSColin PercivalHuman initials always have spaces after the periods, e.g, "P. T. Barnum", 138*6ae1554aSColin Percivalnot "P.T. Barnum". However, "P.T.A.", not "P. T. A.". 139*6ae1554aSColin Percival 140*6ae1554aSColin PercivalAll fortunes should be attributed, but if and only if they are original with 141*6ae1554aSColin Percivalsomebody. Many people have said things that are folk sayings (i.e., are 142*6ae1554aSColin Percivalcommon among the folk (i.e., us common slobs)). There is nothing wrong with 143*6ae1554aSColin Percivalthis, of course, but such statements should not be attributed to individuals 144*6ae1554aSColin Percivalwho did not invent them. 145*6ae1554aSColin Percival 146*6ae1554aSColin PercivalHoroscopes should have the sign indented by one tab stop, followed by the 147*6ae1554aSColin Percivaldates of the sign, with the text left justified below it, e.g., 148*6ae1554aSColin Percival 149*6ae1554aSColin Percival AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) 150*6ae1554aSColin Percival You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You 151*6ae1554aSColin Percival lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be 152*6ae1554aSColin Percival careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over 153*6ae1554aSColin Percival and over again. People think you are stupid. 154*6ae1554aSColin Percival 155*6ae1554aSColin PercivalSingle quotes should not be used except as quotes within quotes. Not even 156*6ae1554aSColin Percivalsingle quotes masquerading as double quotes are to be used, e.g., don't say 157*6ae1554aSColin Percival``hi there'' or `hi there' or 'hi there', but "hi there". However, you 158*6ae1554aSColin Percival*can* say "I said, `hi there'". 159*6ae1554aSColin Percival 160*6ae1554aSColin PercivalA long poem or song can be ordered as follows in order to make it fit on a 161*6ae1554aSColin Percivalscreen (fortunes should be 19 lines or less if at all possible) (numbers 162*6ae1554aSColin Percivalhere are stanza numbers): 163*6ae1554aSColin Percival 164*6ae1554aSColin Percival 11111111111111111111 165*6ae1554aSColin Percival 11111111111111111111 166*6ae1554aSColin Percival 11111111111111111111 22222222222222222222 167*6ae1554aSColin Percival 11111111111111111111 22222222222222222222 168*6ae1554aSColin Percival 22222222222222222222 169*6ae1554aSColin Percival 33333333333333333333 22222222222222222222 170*6ae1554aSColin Percival 33333333333333333333 171*6ae1554aSColin Percival 33333333333333333333 44444444444444444444 172*6ae1554aSColin Percival 33333333333333333333 44444444444444444444 173*6ae1554aSColin Percival 44444444444444444444 174*6ae1554aSColin Percival 44444444444444444444 175*6ae1554aSColin Percival 176*6ae1554aSColin Percival 177